Jan. 17th!

How excited are we for Jan. 17th!? I cannot wait for GIRLS to start up again. This show speaks to me on so many levels, and I think Hannah might be my alter-ego. In the spirit of Lena Dunham's, GIRLS, I will be posting some of my favourite quotes, and pictures of the past two seasons & some sneak peak photos of season 3!

“I didn’t make you explain because I didn’t make you think you have to explain. I’m not asking for anything. I have never asked you for anything. I don’t even want anything. I don’t even want a boyfriend. I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time and thinks I’m the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me and it makes me feel very stupid to tell you this because it makes me sound like a girl that wants to go to brunch while you sit on the couch while I shop or even meet my friends, I don’t even want that. I don’t want a picture of your dick because I live very near you so if you wanted me to look at your dick I could just come over and look at your dick. I don’t really see you hearing me and I don’t really see you changing so…I just summed it up for you and I’m sorry I didn’t figure it out sooner and you must think I’m even stupider than you thought I was already but consider it a testament to your charms because you might not know this but you are very very charming and I really care about you and I don’t want to anymore because it feels too shitty for me.” 

“You know when you’re young and you drop a glass and your dad says like ‘Get out of the way’ so you can be safe while he cleans it up? Well, now nobody really cares if I clean it up myself. Nobody really cares if I get cut with glass. If I break something, no one says ‘Let me take care of that.’ You know?”

xo,

Madison

who tells the first bad joke?

Getting to know someone for the first time is such a gamble. I mean, how much do you put yourself out there? How much talking is too much talking? Who tells the first bad joke? There is an unlimited amount of questions we can ask ourselves. 

Over thinking things almost always ruins things.  If you over think every little detail people say to you, you'll end up waking up in the middle of the night eating a bag of ketchup chips & crying your eyes out to GIRLS on HBO.

It's really hard not to over think situations because we are humans & we tend to care about other humans and that's completely okay, but over thinking can get unhealthy when you start to take someones words and turn it in to something completely different. You'll end up ruining something before it's even had a chance to be something. I've learned this the hard way, and i'm telling you... you don't want to be that girl or guy. 

Like in my other posts, I really focus on the subject of living in the moment. This is my whole, "I'll be a better person this year" craze. If you find someone interesting, and you enjoy their company, don't be afraid to take a chance. Who knows what could happen, but don't start planning what you'll be doing with them a week from now, or a month from now because odds are they might not be emotionally invested like you'd like to think they are. I'm not saying every single person you meet doesn't want to be together forever..I'm just saying don't rush yourself into relationships. 

A lot of people my age rush themselves into relationships and become emotionally invested in people before they even really know the person. 

I guess what I'm really trying to say in this whole write up is if you have a good feeling about someone, get to know them. Get to know what their favorite food is, who their favorite band is, what their childhood pets name was (basically all the security questions you answer when you set up an account on gmail) before you start making plans. I know this can be hard because we all want to be loved, and love in return, but like they say, "Rome wasn't built in a day." Take relationships day by day, and don't be afraid to take a chance. 

xo, 

Mady

Sincere Words

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations at a loss for words, but those words always come creeping out on you in the late of the night or when you've had one to many glasses of wine, but in my case, bottles.(haha, kidding) It's sad that we need the comfort of a substance to break down our walls. Whether it's to the guy you've always liked, the family member who really pisses you off, your ex, the friend who takes you for granted, or maybe even being honest with yourself for a change. In no way am I saying that drinking is the solution to those problems, I want to know why does being drunk make it okay to say those things. Why can't we express ourselves 24/7 and it be okay?

Maybe if we all were all a little more honest with each other more people we would be in healthier relationships with the right people instead of the wrong because we were too afraid to hurt their feelings.  Maybe even your friends would actually know how you felt instead of you always making them guess. I mean we can all say we've had our fair share of calling up your ex in the middle of the night because you're alone, myself included, but maybe next time instead of using alcohol as an excuse, use the fact that you're an effin human as your excuse. Humans get lonely, and we miss people, that's just how it is. 

Since when did it become wrong to express yourself. 

Looking Over 2013

Looking over 2013 is evidence that a lot can happen in one year, and people will come & go just about as fast as they say hello. I've gained a lot of friends in the past year, and I can not be more thankful for everything they have done for me. I told myself I would be entirely honest in this blog, and write whatever I wanted to write, so I'm going to stick with just that. 

At the beginning of 2013 I started hair school, and thought being a hair stylist was exactly what I wanted to be, and within months I found myself in regret. I wasn't sure if I was just afraid of committing to something or if I really did not enjoy the field. If i'm being honest to myself I think it was a little bit of both. I stuck with it for two reasons, to finish something, and because my parents would have kicked my ass if I had quit. I'm glad i've stuck with it because not only can I give an excellent hair cut now, I also met some pretty amazing girls & our memories will play in my mind forever.

In March my grandpa passed away from cancer, and my families world took a sudden pause. I had never lost anyone close to me & seeing the strongest man I knew in a hospital bed has been to this day the scariest thing i've ever seen. Life is so fragile, and you really don't know how you long you have with your loved ones, so hold them close & tell them exactly how you feel every chance you can get. I remember the day of the funeral quite clearly, and seeing how many people loved my grandpa, and how many great stories people shared with him made me really want to become someone as great as him, and someone people would remember. 

Speaking of people everyone will remember.. My best friend moved away to Europe in 2013, and I really miss spending time with her, and it makes me really sad that I won't be with her when entering 2014. BUT! I cannot be more happy for her, and seeing her meeting people, and experiencing things makes me so happy. After high school you learn a lot about yourself, and the kind of people you want to surround yourself with, and more often then not the people you went to high school with are not the people you share your 20s with. I can truly say she's a lifer for me. 

Ah, what everyone always waits for....break ups. Now this is the part I wasn't looking forward to writing, but my promise to myself for 2014 was to be entirely honest. As many of you reading this know I have been with the same guy for quite some many years, and what an amazing person he is. It's actually quite funny because most break ups end badly, and they end up hating each-other, but the funny thing is we actually might be closer now. When you're in a relationship sometimes people can get blinded by a lot of things, and caught up in a lot emotion, and it can become really toxic. The only thing we could do was let it go. We tried so hard to make it work, and sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try because some things are just meant to be. For myself, I was scared to lose a lot of people because we shared a lot of friends, but if those people were really my friends they would stay with me, and they did. This makes me so grateful because I haven't had good luck with people throughout high school, and I guess now I always assume people are just going to forget about me. We play in a band together & we owed it ourselves to push aside anything and continue to make beautiful music, and that's what we are doing. A lot of people asked me what I'll think when he moves on & she comes to the shows, but I will actually be excited because he deserves love that I couldn't give to him. 

Speaking of music, Blue Rubies will be hitting the show circuit this coming year, and I am more then excited because I have been a performer for a very long time, and I finally feel really confident in my voice & in my skin. The boys that I play music with are such inspiring people & great writers, so to be able to share a stage with them makes me feel pretty honoured. During this past year I was sitting on the side lines of music & I became the crowd instead of the performer. I know now that my true home will always be on the stage, and I kind of want to sucker punch the people who made me feel like I wasn't good enough to be up there too. Keep your eyes open for some new music & videos of Blue Rubies this coming year & I hope to see you at our shows in 2014!

So as I look back on my past year I see a girl who has learned a lot about what it means to grow up. For me, growing up has come as me failing at a lot of things. What I mean by this is that in order for things to start to make sense, you have to make some mistakes and learn from them. At the time I felt depressed, alone, scared, and all those fun things but I've learned a lot about myself, and it's given a little hint to where I am suppose to be. In 2014, I hope to keep learning & meeting new people & perhaps another chance at love or at least someone becoming interested in getting to know me. You never really know what's going to happen until it happens. I think everyone should just take it day by day, and stop worrying about everything & what everyone is saying. If you think you should do something, or be somewhere, or say something, just do it. Life is way to short to question yourself. I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas, and I hope everyone has a great new year! 

lots of love, 

Madison xo