Why is it soo crazy that someone could love me?

It's nice to know that someone out there wants to take care of you. Now, don't get me wrong because I can take care of myself & I really like the fact that being independent is important to me, but it's refreshing when someone genuinely wants to be there for you. I have a tendency to push away people when they get too close & I end up blowing my chance with them before anything has even started & I am beginning to realize how toxic & exhausting that is. I tend to think now that no one will be able to replace the love I've shared with someone in my past & so every time someone tries to show me that they could really love me, I push them away before they can even have a chance. I thought I was protecting myself from getting hurt but in reality I only hurting myself because I was ruining any chance I had at being with someone happily.

Sometimes we simply forget to allow ourselves to be happy. It's okay to be a little selfish every once & awhile. If someone makes you laugh & has a way of making you feel really great in that moment, give them a chance to be part of your life. I have a tendency to over think everything & anyone that knows me would agree. (am I right?)  I need to accept compliments every once & awhile. I need to remind myself that someone will love me again & just because it didn't work out with someone doesn't mean it's not going to work out with everyone. 

We all have made mistakes when it comes to relationships & unfortunately you need to make those mistakes before you truly find out what you want & who you want to be with. It's sad that it sometimes takes a broken heart to see the bigger picture & eventually you move on & you take the gamble with someone else, acting like you were never hurt in the first place. 

I guess I should ask myself, "why is it soo crazy that someone could love me?" I have a lot of self value & I think it's important to like who you are before you can expect anyone else to like you. I guess what I am trying to say through this whole mess of words is that I need to accept love when it's given to me. I need to realize that I am capable of loving people & being loved in return. I have flaws & I have strengths & someone will love them & I should let them. 

xo, 

Mady